Blazing fruit

Darwin 200

2008-11-20T22:52:00.006Z

February 12th 2009 marks the 200th anniversary of the birth of Charles Darwin, arguably the most influential scientist of modern times (and in ways that he himself would never have imagined). No single researcher since has matched his collective impact on the natural and social sciences; on politics, religion and philosophy; on art and cultural relations. Nature magazine commissioned this portrait (c.1840) for the cover of the current issue. Art direction by Barbara Izdebska.

The Band

2008-11-17T08:45:00.000Z

Your image as a band says you are visionary or progressive or edgy, or that you're trying really hard not to care about the way you dress! A fashion faux-pas could signal the end of a promising career . . . heed the wisdom of The Rock Bible:

'If you're a man, wearing make-up increases proportionately to your inability to play a musical instrument.'

'Women should dress like color-blind prostitutes. Men should look like hot women.'

'Unless you're sitting on a horse, lose the cowboy hat.'

Art direction by Bryn Ashburn for Quirk.

The Book of Revelation

2008-11-14T09:22:00.010Z

Gazing into the abyss, the prophet foretells a time when many-headed wild beasts roam the wasteland of rock devouring all that remains: The Buddyheaded Pitchforkagon, Lord iTunia & His iPods, YouTuberius, SXCMJ3000 ... but alas, his words of wisdom fall on deaf ears:

'The great rock prophet ... saw maddening disinterest in his plight to save the world of rock from utter folly. Neither the meat-headed banger nor the methodical noodler saw fit to heed the admissions of those gone before them and many a false prophet and warner-monger did usher in the very end of rock.'

Art direction by Bryn Ashburn for Quirk.

The Fan

2008-11-14T00:29:00.006Z

No matter how talented the band, how soulful the delivery or how poetic the songwriting, it'd be nothing without a devoted flock of undiscriminating diehard fans. Here's a few guidelines for faithful followers from The Rock Bible:

'Showing up at a show three hours early to get a primo space in front of the stage is reaffirming to all those around you that you don't have a life.'

'No waiting to get an autograph for more than half an hour (although even that seems a bit too long). The band is either getting high or already back at the hotel.'

'If you ask a crew member for a set list, it's best to listen to the first answer you get. Any subsequent requests will be met with an increasing insult and chance of removal from the venue.'

Art direction by Bryn Ashburn for Quirk.

The Keyboardist

2008-10-27T09:21:00.007Z

If you're a talentless nobody playing keyboards for a lousy band, The Rock Bible is your manual! Before you fill up the airwaves with self-indulgent synth noodling, here are the rules:

'No keyboards without full-sized keys. Smaller keys are only for Christmas morning, when your parents think a mini keyboard will be your gateway to becoming an accomplished musician.'

'There's only one person who will look more ridiculous and offensive in leather pants than the lead singer: the keyboard player.'

'If you play the keyboard with one hand and the tambourine with the other, you are neither a keyboardist nor a tambourine player.'

Art direction by Bryn Ashburn for Quirk.

The Singer

2008-10-25T15:03:00.005+01:00

Henry Owings is touring bookstores during October and November, explaining how The Rock Bible was conceived / created / written, as well as delving into his own history and work with Chunklet. Head along to one of these venues for intimate discussion, Q&A and signing:

10.25.08 - Quimby's, Chicago, IL 7pm
10.26.08 - Shake it Records, Cincinnati, OH @ 3pm
10.27.08 - Subterranean Books, St. Louis, MO @ 7pm
11.07.08 - Atomic Books, Baltimore, MD @ 7pm
11.09.08 - AKA Music, Philadelphia, PA @ 3pm
11.14.08 - Third Place Books, Lake Forest Park, WA @ 6:30pm
11.16.08 - Sonic Boom, Seattle, WA @ 3pm
11.17.08 - Powell's, Portland, OR @ 7:30pm

Art direction by Bryn Ashburn for Quirk.

The Guitar and Bass Players

2008-10-24T10:38:00.008+01:00

Whence cometh The Rock Bible? What's with the faux-Biblical thing anyway? Polyphonic Spree drummer Brian Teasley explains . . .

'As I peruse the aisles of planet corporate bookstore, I realise something: every two bit hobby has a Bible . . . except for rock and roll. Until now! Now there is a new demographic disease spreading like salmonella in a bowl of frat boy barf. That's right dear reader . . . The group I refer to is you and your lousy band. It's time we punished you all for your sins and sent you on the way of the enlightened'

Art direction by Bryn Ashburn for Quirk.

The Drummer

2008-10-24T00:30:00.014+01:00

Grammy Award winner Henry Owings is publisher of Chunklet magazine, a no-holds-barred chronicle of the music industry. Variously a DJ, promoter, record producer and booking agent, Owings has toured with rock bands for nearly a decade. No surprise, then, that The Rock Bible is packed with closely observed cliché-busting wit and wisdom for the celestial life of rock 'n' roll . . .

'If you get a drumstick endorsement, don't take one of those lame promo photos acting like you're breaking the sticks in half.'

'All drummers wearing headsets should be required to take a food order.'

'No drum gloves. if you can't hold on to drumsticks, you may want to rethink the "playing" part of playing drums.'

Art direction by Bryn Ashburn for Quirk.

Genesis

2008-10-23T21:30:00.008+01:00

'In the beginning Thomas Edison invented the phonograph, which begat the publishing of "Memphis Blues" by Hart Wand in 1912 (often credited as the first blues title), which begat W.C. Handy writing "St Louis Blues" (often credited as the first real blues song) in 1914, which begat . . .'

Thus opens The Rock Bible, an epic window through which Henry Owings offers a tantalising glimpse of the authentic rock ’n’ roll life. Like Moses delivering the Ten Commandments, he lays down rules for musicians, wannabe musicians, and rock fans of all ages.

Art direction by Bryn Ashburn for Quirk.

Monkey Shoulder

2008-07-07T14:38:00.016+01:00

Monkey Shoulder is a triple malt Scotch whisky aimed at a new generation of whisky drinkers - rebranding a classic for 20/30 somethings without losing its sense of heritage. William Grant & Sons commissioned a series of characters to help build a new identity, challenging more traditional perceptions of the whisky drinker. Art direction by Ambition.

The world's first triple malt

2008-07-05T16:28:00.009+01:00

Monkey Shoulder is a vatting of three single malts distilled by William Grant & Sons: Balvenie, Glenfiddich and Kininvie. 'Triple malt' because it blends three malts without using any grain, placing it somewhere between blended and single malt whisky. William Grant & Sons comissioned this artwork to illustrate Monkey Shoulder's triple parentage. Art direction by Ambition.

Coopering

2008-07-04T10:21:00.007+01:00

The smooth vanilla notes of Monkey Shoulder come from the oak barrels in which it is stored. Bourbon casks are shipped over from the US and repaired on-site at William Grant's cooperage. In this illustration I've tried to capture the hot hard reality of a physically demanding and highly skilled process. Art direction by Ambition.

The evolution of cocktails

2008-07-03T10:22:00.016+01:00

Monkey Shoulder is a triple malt with a smooth rich flavour, making it an ideal whisky for mixing. Read reviews from the UK's top bar-tenders at the Monkey Shoulder website and try the taste for yourself. William Grant & Sons commissioned this artwork to promote a series of events celebrating the changing face of whisky cocktails. Art direction by Ambition.

Rothesay Rick

2008-06-30T11:03:00.003+01:00

Rothesay Life is a subsiduary of Goldman Sachs which provides annuity products to corporate defined benefit pension plans. Last year Goldman Sachs commissioned a series of studies for a character called 'Rick' - a relaxed, amiable kind of guy offering jargon-free advice and information about Rothesay Life policies. Art direction by Ogilvy.

The Love Doctor: Lily Allen

2008-06-21T15:06:00.003+01:00

Lily Allen recently suffered a miscarriage and the break-up of her relationship in the space of a few weeks. Now she’s split with the baby’s father, she may feel that what seemed like a dream life has taken on a nightmarish quality. How can she safeguard her self-esteem – and is there anything she could have done to save her relationship? Ask the Love Doctor . . . Commissioned by Zest magazine.

Roots, reels and rambles

2008-05-15T14:31:00.003+01:00

Alistair Anderson is reckoned one of the finest Northumbrian pipers and concertina players in the world. The music lives through him: face to the rafters, rapt, he paints a sound-picture of heathery hills, peat-brown burns and lonely farms under black Border skies. He plays with body and soul, sweeping the concertina up and down, swirling it round in circles as he steps in time like a dancer, shaking and cajoling a stream of Northumbrian hornpipes, reels and waltzes out of the instrument. Commissioned by The Ramblers Association for Walk magazine.

Warren Buffett spells it out

2008-03-05T11:40:00.034Z

It's official ... the Sage of Omaha pronounces the R word. And since he's now the richest man in the world we ought to sit up and take notice. So what's his secret? While falling stock prices signal a recession, Buffett focuses on other metrics. He analyzes and pores over the underlying economics of his investments - if the fundamentals are solid and a company is generating consistent bottom-line growth, ultimately the share price will reflect that. Buffett rides out short-term fluctuations and reaps the rewards of increased earnings and/or dividends over time.

Commissioned by Real Business magazine.

Bwise2 sexual exploitation

2008-01-04T20:23:00.000Z

Barnardo's provides a range of services to support children at risk and prevent future harm from neglect, abuse and sexual exploitation. Last year they commissioned a suite of illustrations for Bwise2 sexual exploitation - a pack enabling teachers, social workers and counsellors to educate young people about sexual exploitation with honesty and realism. The material is all based on the experiences of young people supported by a specialist Barnardo’s service. Launched in November 2007, the pack illustrates the process of 'grooming' - the relationships, behaviour and events leading to sexual abuse - as well as helping teenagers develop strategies for prevention. Copies are available from Barnardo's online shop.

Fröhliche Weihnachten!

2007-12-24T10:51:00.000Z

Christmas card and frames for animation commissioned by Sony Playstation GmbH. Design and art direction by TBWA Werbeagentur GmbH.

Jesu beste freunde

2007-11-30T10:34:00.000Z

Double page spread introducing the twelve apostles of Jesus. Commissioned by Lorenzspringer Medien GmbH as part of a guide for communion classes.

To keep a man

2007-10-07T12:35:00.000+01:00

"...to keep a man, you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom." Commissioned by Unilever Axe as part of the Axe 'Kama Sutra'. Design and art direction by Vibrandt.

Happy Birthday!

2007-08-30T13:01:00.000+01:00

Today London Lite celebrates its first birthday. The free newspaper commissioned a series of artworks for print ads, t-shirts and candy bags to mark the event. Design and art direction by VCCP.

Wedding etiquette

2007-06-16T00:54:00.000+01:00

How not to behave at a wedding. Commissioned by Men's Health USA.

How long?

2007-06-02T00:37:00.000+01:00

In September 2004 Penguin asked me to produce a cover illustration for Lawless World, a compelling account of how America turned its back on international law. The author - Philippe Sands - threw a spotlight on the abuse of detainees in Guantanamo Bay. Even then, it was old news: the first prisoners, arriving in January 2002, had been confined in exposed cages, sleeping on mats, deprived of sight, hearing and touch. More than five years later, despite repeated calls for its closure, nearly 400 men remain in detention without charge and without trial.

Amnesty International say that Camp Six, a new maximum security prison built at a cost of $37m has created "even harsher and apparently more permanent conditions of extreme isolation" which are "pushing people to the edge". In June 2006 three inmates hanged themselves, and this week a fourth - Abd al-Rahman al-Amiri - commited suicide. Michael Ratner, president of the US Center for Constitutional Rights, told the Associated Press the death was likely an act of desperation. "Five-and-a-half years of desperation with no legal way out."

Tarka Revisited

2007-04-20T11:03:00.001+01:00

On the 80th anniversary of the publication of Tarka the Otter, rambler and writer Christopher Somerville traces the wanderings of Tarka through North Devon. He finds that Henry Williamson, for all his poetry, told it exactly as it was - and, miraculously - still is: the stone shippens with their owl’s-eye-yellow lichens, the mires of the Two Rivers estuary and the flowery sandhills of Braunton Burrows. And, down by Taddiport Bridge at Great Torrington, the very ridge of pale grey shillets where Tarka ran, lying downstream of the bridge just as Williamson had described it. Commissioned by The Ramblers Association for Walk magazine.